Monday, 9 January 2012

Lines dedicated to the theft of cheese and wine by a celebrity chef

Antony Worral ThompsonThe headline news today is about the theft of products from a supermarket, believed to be wine and cheese, by the celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson. I was moved by the plight of this man, who is obviously facing personal issues, to pen a few lines this evening.

Lines dedicated to the theft of cheese and wine by a celebrity chef
© Damon Lord 2012

A quick trip to Tesco was all that it took.
The coppers, they nabbed me, and brought me to book.
What was I doing? What was I thinking?
I pilfered vin blanc, and the bishop was stinking!
“Let’s look in the bag,” the policeman then said.
“Cheese theft ain’t mature.” I quickly turned red.
Floyd had his fish; Delia’s egg in Norwich.
Jamie untwizzled turkeys; and I’m doing porridge! *
Oh I was so wrong! Why did I do it?
I swiped cheese and bottles; I had to go through it.
I’ve been a bad boy, but at least I give thanks.
They didn’t find the crab sticks, down in my pants.

* (Note: Antony Worrall Thompson was actually let off with a caution)